ChirpyQuill

When we start engaging in a discussion with some people, many a times we walk away frustrated. We walk away with a feeling that nothing was accomplished and the discussion went in an entirely different direction from the stated or understood purpose. Instead of clarifying the issue at hand, we ended up defending something entirely unrelated, mostly ourselves.  Here are a few ways that is done, very purposefully. What Aboutism Shooting the messenger i.e. questioning your intent, motive or casting aspersion at your character itself Making light of the matter, laughing your concern off as trivial Seeking support of others who are politically or socially aligned and then shouting you down or scoffing at you. Emotional blackmail i.e. playing the victim card. Conflating your position with an untenable one and putting words in your mouth This happens in discussions within families and in social scenarios. I will lay out a few examples and share how one could recognize and therefore deal w...

  We all have seen it. From a hill or just from some distance. A line cutting through the foliage, scratching the ground, snaking, meandering across the landscape. Starting from the far side of the creek or from the bottom of the rocky hill, cutting across the jungle floor to eventually vanish into the thicket of trees up yonder. Zigzagging like a drunken sailor. A mile long reptile hugging the forest floor. A Trail. It is pretty too. It must mean something, mustn’t it? It must have a Purpose. A path designed to take one from point A to point B? From here to there or perhaps bring’em from there to here? Both seem plausible enough, for a Purpose. Don’t they? Wait, but who designed the Trail? Who, what, when carved it onto Earth’s chest? It seems like it may have existed for ever. Like life itself! Wait, who, what, when designed Life? Therein may lie our foible. The path may exist afterall, not to take people from here to there. It may exist because people went from here to there. It...

In endurance sports such as Running, Mountaineering or Triathlons, the ones  I am familiar with, we don’t race against another person. We also don’t race against ourselves. We instead race towards a version of ourselves that sits perched on the other side of that distance. A version that we have conceived through arduous meditations on those long trails and training runs.  That version of us, on the far side of the 26.2 mile or a 100 mile long trail or road is prettier, hardier and a more desirable version of ourselves. It’s who we wanna become. A Marathoner, a Mountaineer or what have you. Event day comes around and the Caterpillar must push itself out of the the Chrysallis and the Butterfly must earn its wings. It is a hard day, no matter what has gone on before that. It is a terribly hard day. But it does get done, this version of the metamorphosis complete. The Ghost that sat on the other side and beckoned us, has become us now. A stronger, more powerful, more confident us...

  May 31st 1984, Amritsar – we were huddled together over a tub filled with cold water and lots of mangoes in it. After a scorching hot day, eating those chilled mangoes were such a delight. Dad was listening to the 9 PM news bulletin and the news reader was ever beautiful and graceful Salma Sultan. The mood of our family and every other family became tense when she read .. “ अभी अभी समाचार मिला है के पंजाब को मिलिट्री के हवाले कर दिया गया है और पूरे पंजाब में कर्फ्यू लग गया है ” ( Just got the news that Military has been given the control of Punjab and a curfew has been declared for the entire state).  In the next few weeks, the events which ensued, would write a dark chapter in the history book of Punjab. This was not the first time, Punjab was drenched in blood but this time, the events ripped through its heart – The Golden temple, Amritsar! The very fabric of “Punjabiyat”, weaved with the threads of basic tenet given by first Guru, Baba Nanak – “ ਅਵ...

  July    1947, summer heat was scorching the plains of Punjab. A feeling of impending doom gripped the village of Padhana; a small hamlet near Lahore, which was earmarked to be in Pakistan after partition. There were rumors that a bunch of Muslims are going to attack the village during the night to kill and loot all Hindus in the village. An air of tension gripped the male members of a Haveli ( a big multiroom house). A decision was made ; all ladies of the house were    to leave in the dark of the night and walk to a nearby village which was to come under India after partition. An old lady and four little girls ( age 16-9) started their 34ish Km journey on foot, which passed through a pond and eventually land in Naushehra ( Village in Indian Army control). Male members reached through a different route. All livestock , all expensive clothes and utensils left behind as it is and were entrusted with friends and neighbours. Jewellery was buried underground. Every...