An Indomitable Spirit

This eclispe doesn’t compute. There was no math, no conceivable sequence of events, or dominos falling, that could have brought me to this place and time. Yet here I am. Without a dear friend. Without a kindred soul. Without Thej.

Life is unpredictable, yes. Storms do come, I know. But strorms blow away a tin roof or a hatch. They may be even topple a weakened wall in the process. But they aren’t supposed to blow away a Palace that Thej’s larger than life was. It was a Palace, even though, while he lived I never quite saw it that way. I was too close you see. You don’t quite get the full perspective of the magnificent design, the architecture, the tall columns and adorned facade, while on the inside. The palace is too big. One must step back some.

As I step back now, I realize that I had the privilege to be an insider to his beautiful life. A life cut short abruptly. Or, may-be, just may-be, this fire was meant to burn off in just this much time. The heat was too intense. We reconcile, even while we protest.

I got a chance to sing in the mountains with Thej, to being exhausted while climbing them, to feeling the fresh air and Sunshine on us while biking, running, hiking. While listening him belt out Kishore Kumar songs at the top of his lungs. My friend had one hell of strong lungs. I was fortunate enough to be gymming with him, to beer-ing with him, to joking, laughing, singing in parties, celebrating, rejoicing, basically loving on life, as only he knew how. We rubbed off on each other in ways that are impossible to relate except through a feeling. Yes, I felt him while he lived and feel him now, in my bones.

A palace is big and beautiful, as his life was.

A palace can be seen from afar, as Thej’s life could be. People viewed it with wonder, joy, with appreciation, amusement and even with envy. His posts from his adventures, his races and climbs and travel were well curated with footnotes and pictures. His bright and energetic personality jumping out from each image, many of the pictures literally had him in jumping pose. “Ek hi to zindagi hai yaar”there is only one life my friend), he would often quip in a way that was impossible to disagree with. 

A palace has many rooms. His life did too. As privileged as I was to be in his inner circle,  he cultivated many inner circles. From celebrating his college mates to his Kannada heritage to Runners to Triathlons to neighbors. I don’t know anyone else who nurtured and moved as fluidly in and out of so many rooms. A palace indeed his life was.

Just as the facade and frontage was bold and awesome, with fancy cars, beautiful home and fancy clothes, the inside walls that held up the whole thing, held it up magnificently. That had to be Dhanu. Dhanu and their kids. They held him up as he did them. They made the inside of those imposing walls warm and comfortable.

He flagged off races, and ran them. He trained hard and fought to get better, with running, with life. He fell off the wagon and clambered back on. He got hurt and rebuilt his strength and got back on the saddle. He couldn’t lose. An  indomitable spirit. He just kept going. He executed and he inspired. So many ran Triathlons and climbed mountains because of him. There was an insatiable urge to live life inside him. To live more fully and more richly than anyone else I have known. He did’t miss much. Not the runs or bike rides or parties or just good ol ezee peeze beer sessions, or time with family. Family first he said, and we all laughed. But seeing how the kids turned out and how his equation with Dhanu was and how well he provided, he absolutely put his family first. 

Not too far behind, were the bikes and shoes and gear and Eastman colored running gear. He strutted like a Peacock, I said to him on occasion and he reveled in it. A bright, beautiful, life. All the colors nature had, seeped through him into all our lives. Perhaps nature needed to replenish some. Hence this pause, untill his new cackle, new smile, a new glint in his eyes in a new body. He is not one to be sidelined for long… Somewhere, in this Universe or another, in the gentle loving womb, a new life is already taking shape. One that will brighten the paths of many more, as he did mine. Ours.