Holding our ground and seeking Alpha! by Atul Singh

It’s Jan 22nd, 2024 and finally I am resolved about an overarching blueprint for 2024 that is worth going after. That blueprint is to hold my ground and seek Alpha. 

Whether it is financial, fitness, relationship or professional goals, we all start out with resolve, with specific objectives and with a game-plan. We even build resilience into the plan by incorporating some flexibility and/or hiring a coach. However along the way life happens. A debilitating flu and resulting loss of time and strength may throw us off from the entire season. A leaking roof may throw us off of our financial goals for the year. We essentially cede ground at a certain level of resistance from life and once derailed find it difficult to climb back onto the wagon again. A state of fluidity then ensues and we let go. We do not hold our ground. 

This same phenomenon also plays out in our relationship world. A belligerent child, an aggressive boss, an abusive spouse and we buy peace by continually ceding ground. But there is no peace to be had because all we did was to train a bully to push us some more. So, inch by inch, step by step we need to hold our ground and not cede it away. That way we are training ourselves and others around us into a better behavior pattern. 

The antidote to both the above scenarios is two fold in my mind. Number one of course is to hold our ground as discussed above. However that also is not enough. Life does not play a standoff game too well. We are either gaining ground or losing because time is constantly ticking against us. So we also need to gain ground in our sphere of influence. The blueprint I find compelling in that regard that of the proverbial Alpha Male and Alpha Female. 

An Alpha male is simply a man with desirable characteristics as ascertained from the most astute judge of desirable characteristics in a man that ever existed, “the female mind”. This filter has been tuned through millions and millions of years of mate selection and can be truly counted upon. But it is not limited to mate selection for continuation of species, which many of us are past now. A female mind seeks these same characteristics in her father, in her brother, in her male friends and perhaps cultivates and promotes them in her male child as well. Her love and generosity to all of the above may be unconditional, but her respect is earned. 

So in a group setting, a man who is well read, confident, financially strong, well dressed and physically fit(please have a six pack😜), fun and comfortable in his skin is likely to draw more female attention. He also needs to be “not full of himself”, “not rude”and generally not an AH. She shuns those traits, as she should. 

So are we doing the most we can to grow into an Alpha Male, the proverbial most interesting man in the room? May be, may be not. Perhaps some strong fitness goals, an aggressive reading regimen, some well cultivated hobbies and some strong professional and financial goals, alongside character strengths like compassion and gratitude, would do us good then, won’t they? 

In similar vein is the concept of an Alpha Female. The Belle of the party, well dressed, taking good care of herself, physically fit, well read, polite, engaging, confident, fun woman. The filter of millions of years of fine-tuning of a male mind, to propagate the species and improve their chances of survival draws his attention to women who are physically fit and can hold their own in other aspects of life. Similar to a woman’s mind, a male mind seeks the same characteristics in their close female members of family and friends and respects these traits. So why look elsewhere for roadmap? Why not drive towards becoming that person for which the blueprint is instinctively carved in your head already. What’s there to lose in becoming a well read, articulate, fit, thoughtful, engaging person, the Alpha Female.

So the long and short of it is that we have a model in there which we can refine ti fit our needs and circumstances and that is worth pursuing, towards becoming a better version of ourselves!  Just to clarify and re-emphasize. We are not making these choices to seek male or female attention. We are only using a blueprint that is already proven. An Alpha Male and an Alpha Female are both well rounded personalities, that are navigating this world successfully due to their desirable charactertics. The phrases simplify and encapsulate the multiple dimensions of that persona well in my opinion. 

Would you seek Alpha ?