Our Song - By Atul Singh

We all know about it. It’s our song, lying unsung somewhere in the recesses of our being. It stretches, it convulses, wanting to find expression in our daily lives, and when it does, we feel it in our bones. The fulfilment, the feeling of being aligned with our very grain, the satisfaction of living our life to its highest potential. All the feelings we seek to experience. Sadly most of us rarely do. Even if we do, it is in spurts and starts if we are lucky. Even more sad is the fact that most of us, in-spite of being well aware of it, never will quite give it a fair try. The question is, why won’t we?

The answers may vary from person to person, and the easiest slot to fall into is to judge other people on why they are choosing lives less lived, less fulfilling. How about we think about our own circumstance and at-least seek to understand our own behavior. Why are we choosing to let our song die on the vine, or have choosen to live sub-optimally in the context of our own potential.

We all reconcile with the life we have, veraus with the one we wanted. In money terms, in fulfillment terms, in terms of love, or what have you. We are masters at rationalizing. We do it so effectively, that we don’t even realize we are at it again. So let’s for the next few minutes, shed our defenses and at-least seek to understand ourselves. If we understand, we can fix. Even if we choose not to fix, we then do it by choice. 

The number one reason as I explore the depth of my own compulsions is fear. Fear that we will fail. That all the potential effort really is not going to amount to anything because we will fail. We don’t quite have it in us to get to that big hairy audacious goal. To build a company, to find true love, to build ourselves into a physical specimen that we seek to be, to change the world, to experience higher realms of conciousness through meditation, to write a book or anything else that meets our fancy. All that is for others, those pictures of model physiques… they are someone else, born with better genes. The ones with money, had more luck. The ones with love had the right timing. We, us, we won’t make it in that journey. So why leave the familiar shore of compromise. It’s alright to be us, is it not. To be here as we are. And so we rationalize and let the moment of stepping out pass.

The number two reason is sheer hard work. The grit and effort of persevering. The exhaustion, the late nights, the early mornings. It is too much price to pay. That what we seek will not make us happy necessarily. Learn to be happy with what we have and where we are. Money is not everything. What is the big deal about climbing a mountain, building a business or lifting someone up at our own cost. We are happy, aren’t we, in the here and now. We need to be happy in the here and how. What is with this constant striving for? 

And so life continues. 

The third big reason is clarity of intent. What do we seek to do after-all. We can’t possibly put meaningful effort towards something that we are truly not excited about, can we? It takes effort to dig deep and find one’s own holy grail. The one thing that will lead us to the promised land. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have the clarity in youth or ever. So we muddle along, being driven by other people’s priorities. Spouses priority, kid’s priority, boss’s priority and on an on. One day and next, one year and next. The hair is turning grey, more wrinkles on the face, sapping energy, and soon enough we are past the vigor needed to make an effort. The shine is fading from the eyes. But what does not go away is the hole in our being of never quite stepping out. That will never go away. It is about our song that lay unsung. The book that was in us that got left, unwritten. The bridge we could have built from here to a different future that got left unbuilt. 

We will look back. We all will, at our lives. Ultimately the Universe continues to roll on. What we did or did not do, is quite immaterial in the larger scheme of billions of years and stars and millions of species that have come and gone on this tiny planet alone. It is immaterial in that context whether we were kings or paupers. The only place it matters is within us. When we look back at our lives, will we have sung our song, to it’s full tenor.

That, I think will matter.